Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
