Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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