yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
