Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
He has the fingertips of a God
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