So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
