Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize