yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
