Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My dad is sitting where you rode me
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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