He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
