talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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