Christians are straight up FREAKS
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
