You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
