Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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