OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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