it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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