what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
pray to the hookup gods
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
