When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
