i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
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I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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