We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
