but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
