You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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