So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
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It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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