he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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