I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he fucked my hip out of place.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
