But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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