it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
