loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
