:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
