okay pat passed out under dana's car
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
