I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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