Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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