just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
