You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
