waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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