I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Sorry my hands just texted you
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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