why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
