when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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