why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
