did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
