You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
