She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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