Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
