I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
