yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Is it because I queefed?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
