I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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