I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
