see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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