look no pants
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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