found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Why is your signature on my underwear?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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