Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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