this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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