No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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