Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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