Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
