But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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