He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
