I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
