have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
