How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
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