I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
