Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
