All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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